How Not To Take Offence and be Truly Confident
True confidence. What a massive subject. Wow even as I sit here wondering about a good starting point… I can feel the intenseness of this question: how not to take offence? Now I am not saying in anyway I do this perfectly but I thought together we could explore why it is so easy to take offence and perhaps how to not get wrapped up by it?
Taking offense is very much part of the ego, some call it the small self or the little self. I like to call it the false self. The false self is a necessary entry into the human, material world. We need to but it will only ever get you so far. And it’s not far enough. When someone says something that causes a negative reaction in us, it is only our false self that is indeed reacting. Our ego is very fragile and constantly needs to protect itself or jazz itself up in some way to feel good. Our inherently true self is fulfilled and naturally strong. My false self, particularly likes to feel right! Just ask my husband! Other examples can be the need to feel admired, important, attractive, successful and so on. The true self is the very core of us and represents the mystical oneness of everything. So it REALLY doesn’t care what people think. Not in a rebellious kind of way, but genuinely has no need or no idea how to take part in that kind of drama.
So when we are living in our true self and its only ever most of the time, because it’s a dance really between to true and false self, we don’t really get wrapped up in what other people think of us. Our true self-esteem then naturally shines like a beautiful diamond. How amazing!
So try this, whenever you find yourselves spending too much time worrying about what someone has said or not said, try becoming deeply present in that moment. Pay close attention to the part of you that is offended and why that might be. Ask yourself some revealing questions and be compassionate with your answers. What do I want that person or people to think of me…why does it hurt … where may this come from… where do I feel it in my body,,, and follow the rabbit down the hole. That deep awareness is key and you will probably find it comes from your little self. Own it and be ok with it because ultimately its not really you. Its past hurts and expectations that have cultivated a way of thinking that is not actually the truth. Your unique mystical self that is connected to the oneness of everything is the only truth.
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Sat Nam x